Epic Rap Battle: Nerd vs. Geek


Bookworm, I’m studious   книжный червь / любящий науку, занятый наукой
From my cerebral cortex to my gluteus
Back in Kindergarten
aced my college entrance exam   отлично сдать экзамены
Now, I’m no rocket scientist   очень умный
Oh wait, I am
When I pour my Alpha-bits
I get nothing but straight A’s
My retainer and headgear connect   брэкеты
To a back brace   корсет для спины
I’ve got a pocket-protector protector protector    
I broke my glasses on purpose so I could tape ‘em together   специально / склеить скотчем
Run back to Reddit   социальный новостной сайт
And type stuff no one will see
You’re a geek
That means you’re just a hipster wannabe   человек, который мечтает стать кем-то


That’s right, I’m a geek
I’ve got brains, and a personality
I wear my glasses sincerely
And my T-Shirts ironically
There’re some things you can’t learn in a class
Or else I’d sign you up for   записать на курс
Intro to How Not to Be a Social Outcast   introduction – введение / изгой
You’re just so early Twenty-Thirteen    
I was the cool form of uncool before uncool became a thing   стало модным
I use an app to pair pork with the perfect Bordeaux   application – приложение, программа
Too bad there’s no app to neutralize your B.O.   body odour – запах тела
While you’re lost in Second Life letting your fingernails grow long   виртуальный мир
I’ll be syncing up my iPhone, tablet, TV and your mom   синхронизировать


Sure, grooming’s not my thing   уход за внешностью
But I don’t care    
I look so good in chain-mail   доспехи
That it’s not Renaissance Faire    


Doesn’t LARP   live action role-playing – ролевая игра
stand for loser and reject party?   означать / отвергать
I’d rather cosplay with hotties   костюмированная игра
Than play fake army   поддельный
I tried Dungeons and Dragons once    
And I died . . . of boredom   умереть от скуки
But I’ll still kick your Assassin’s Creed post-mortem   после смерти
Mario Party’s the only one you get invited to    
Your life is like Skyrim    
An endless quest of Solitude   одиночество


Ooo, you beat Angry Birds
You’re not a gamer ‘cause you battle your friends with words   сражаться (Words with Friends – название игры)
You click on cute icons    
I execute commands   управлять (компьютером) с помощью команд
Do you really need a “genius” to teach you Garage Band?   приложение для создание музыкальных композиций


I landed the first ROFLCOPTER   приземлять / Rolling On the Floor Lauging
And took in orphans when I was 12 ‘cause I’m an early adopter    
I can wear Google Glass without looking like a dweeb   очкарик
Okay, maybe not, but I can Yelp us some good pho to eat   сайт для поиска на местном рынке услуг


You need 16 gigs of RAM to watch a Steve Jobs Doc?!   random access memory – оперативная память
I keep an actual ram in my PC!   баран
His name is Spock    


I’m a new console
Your face is birth control   = You are ugly
I troll Brony sites    
You look like an actual troll
  = You are ugly


I’m fluent in C++   отлично разбираться в
[std::cout < < “You just suck! n”;]    
Can your iPhone auto-correct your dumb haircut?   ужасная прическа


Hold on a second
Let me tweet this info-graphic I made
That illustrates the fact you’ll never get to procreate   размножаться, приносить потомство


I just haven’t met a woman of a high enough caliber   высокое качество
The only dates you have are on your Google Calendar   дата (свидание)


You’re losing this battle
Your foam sword won’t help   пенопластовый меч
In the future you’ll randomly access this memory
And crap yourself


Did I mention I built a dancing robot?


No one gives a Shatner about your skinny jeans   канадский актёр и писатель
Do you even know what URL means?   uniform resource locator – адрес сайта


You don’t know what you’re Tolkien about
(Sung in what I assume is Elvish)
Much wind pours from your mouth you cowardly dog!   трусливый
You are ugly, and your mother dresses you
Go kiss an Orc


You know


You are a classic example of the inverse ratio   обратная пропорция
between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain!