Epic Rap Battle: Nerd vs. Geek

[Nerd] YES, I AM A NERD
Bookworm, I’m studious		книжный червь / любящий науку, занятый наукой
From my cerebral cortex to my gluteus Back in Kindergarten
I aced my college entrance exam		отлично сдать экзамены
Now, I’m no rocket scientist –		очень умный
Oh wait, I am When I pour my Alpha-bits I get nothing but straight A’s
My retainer and headgear connect		брэкеты
To a back brace		корсет для спины
I’ve got a pocket-protector protector protector
I broke my glasses on purpose so I could tape ‘em together		специально / склеить скотчем
Run back to Reddit		социальный новостной сайт
And type stuff no one will see You’re a geek
That means you’re just a hipster wannabe		человек, который мечтает стать кем-то

[Geek] That’s right, I’m a geek I’ve got brains, and a personality I wear my glasses sincerely And my T-Shirts ironically There’re some things you can’t learn in a class
Or else I’d sign you up for		записать на курс
“Intro to How Not to Be a Social Outcast”		introduction – введение / изгой
You’re just so early Twenty-Thirteen
I was the cool form of uncool before uncool became a thing		стало модным
I use an app to pair pork with the perfect Bordeaux		application – приложение, программа
Too bad there’s no app to neutralize your B.O.		body odour – запах тела
While you’re lost in Second Life letting your fingernails grow long		виртуальный мир
I’ll be syncing up my iPhone, tablet, TV and your mom		синхронизировать

[Nerd]
Sure, grooming’s not my thing		уход за внешностью
But I don’t care
I look so good in chain-mail		доспехи
That it’s not Renaissance Faire

[Geek]
Doesn’t LARP		live action role-playing – ролевая игра
stand for loser and reject party?		означать / отвергать
I’d rather cosplay with hotties		костюмированная игра
Than play fake army		поддельный
I tried Dungeons and Dragons once
And I died . . . of boredom		умереть от скуки
But I’ll still kick your Assassin’s Creed post-mortem		после смерти
Mario Party’s the only one you get invited to
Your life is like Skyrim
An endless quest of Solitude		одиночество

[Nerd] Ooo, you beat Angry Birds
You’re not a gamer ‘cause you battle your friends with words		сражаться (Words with Friends – название игры)
You click on cute icons
I execute commands		управлять (компьютером) с помощью команд
Do you really need a “genius” to teach you Garage Band?		приложение для создание музыкальных композиций

[Geek]
I landed the first ROFLCOPTER		приземлять / Rolling On the Floor Lauging
And took in orphans when I was 12 ‘cause I’m an early adopter
I can wear Google Glass without looking like a dweeb		очкарик
Okay, maybe not, but I can Yelp us some good pho to eat		сайт для поиска на местном рынке услуг

[Nerd]
You need 16 gigs of RAM to watch a Steve Jobs Doc?!		random access memory – оперативная память
I keep an actual ram in my PC!		баран
His name is Spock

[Geek] I’m a new console
Your face is birth control		= You are ugly
I troll Brony sites
You look like an actual troll		= You are ugly

[Nerd]
I’m fluent in C++		отлично разбираться в
[std::cout < < “You just suck! n”;]
Can your iPhone auto-correct your dumb haircut?		ужасная прическа

[Geek] Hold on a second Let me tweet this info-graphic I made
That illustrates the fact you’ll never get to procreate		размножаться, приносить потомство

[Nerd]
I just haven’t met a woman of a high enough caliber		высокое качество
The only dates you have are on your Google Calendar		дата (свидание)

[Geek] You’re losing this battle
Your foam sword won’t help		пенопластовый меч
In the future you’ll randomly access this memory And crap yourself

[Nerd] Did I mention I built a dancing robot?

[Robot]
No one gives a Shatner about your skinny jeans		канадский актёр и писатель
Do you even know what URL means?		uniform resource locator – адрес сайта

[Geek] You don’t know what you’re Tolkien about (Sung in what I assume is Elvish)
Much wind pours from your mouth you cowardly dog!		трусливый
You are ugly, and your mother dresses you Go kiss an Orc

[Nerd] You know

[Both]
You are a classic example of the inverse ratio		обратная пропорция
between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain!

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