Vocabulary
to get engaged – заключить помолвку
He got engaged to Winona Ryder.
in (all) fairness – честно говоря
deliberately – намеренно
I deliberately waited a really long time.
instantly – сразу же
I regretted it instantly.
meltdown – крах, провал, потеря самообладания
I had a massive emotional meltdown in the broad daylight.
prior to – до момента, перед
Prior to this moment…
to drink Kool-aid — «беспрекословно поверить какой-либо идее или учению, слепо, без критического анализа (подробно про это выражение можно прочитать здесь)
I had drunk our cultural Kool-aid about regrets
to lament – сокрушаться, сетовать
Lamenting things that occurred in the past is an absolute waste of time.
to strive – стремиться, бороться
I strive to live life free of regrets.
at first – сначала (подразумевается противопоставление! – то есть, потом ситуация изменилась)
It might seem like an admirable philosophy at first…
a wuss – слабак
So this is Lady MacBeth basically telling her husband to stop being such a wuss for feeling bad about murdering people.
to be onto something – быть в курсе, знать
And as it happens, Shakespeare was onto something here, as he generally was.
human – относящийся к человеку, человеческий
humane – человечный, гуманный
agency – действие, деятельность
It requires agency – we have to make a decision.
acute – острый, сильный, критический
The more acute the regret will be…
to come out – заканчиваться
The decision came out badly.
by far – несравнимо, явно, с большим отрывом
Number 1 by far is education
to take advantage of – воспользоваться
We wish we’d taken better advantage of the education.
pertain – относиться, иметь отношение
The remaining regrets pertain to this…
to account for – составлять, являться частью
This accounts for less than 3% of total regrets
odds – шансы
Odds are you are not going to care in 5 years.
alienation – отчуждение, отчужденность
This real sense of alienation from the part of us that made a decision we regret.
perseveration – навязчивое повторение одного и того же
loop – цикл, виток
Now the effect of perseveration is to basically take these first three components of regret and put them on an infinite loop
skin graft – операция по пересадке ткани
I thought about skin grafts.
fallibility – ошибочность, погрешность
…they leave you exposed to the world and exposed to your own vulnerability and fallibility in face of, frankly, a fairly indifferent universe.
in the grips of – в плену, во власти, в тисках
And I think it’s particularly painful for us now in the West in the grips of what I sometimes think of as a Control-Z culture
to undo – отменить выполненное действие
We think we can throw money at the problem or throw technology at the problem — we can undo and unfriend and unfollow.
insidious – хитрый, коварный
And the amazing thing about this really insidious technological innovation is that …
to torpedo – уничтожать
To torpedo a relationship
irrevocable – неотменяемый, окончательный, бесповоротный
Irrevocable and terrible consequences
piercing – острый, пронизывающий
Those kinds of regrets are incredibly piercing and enduring.
excrutiating – мучительный
Tven the stupid «reply all» regrets can leave us in a fit of excruciating agony for days.
to make peace – примириться
I want to suggest that there’s three things that help us to make our peace with regret
glib – несерьезный
Glib suggestion
passage of time – течение времени
to heal – лечить
Heals all wounds
hideous – ужасный, уродливый
It’s actually not that hideous
true north – географический север/настоящие ценности
How important it is to somehow keep an eye on your own true north.
to encapsulate – воплощать
…it encapsulated both of these ideas in one simple image.
flawed – бракованный, дефектный
We need to learn to love the flawed, imperfect things that we create
Regrets — quotes
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Alexander Graham Bell
“I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I’d just been myself.”
Brittany Renée
“I have no regrets. I wouldn’t have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say.”
Ingrid Bergman
“Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.”
Arthur Miller
“I have many regrets, and I’m sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret… if you have any sense, and if you don’t regret them, maybe you’re stupid.”
Katharine Hepburn
“I don’t believe in regrets; I believe your future is in your tomorrows.”
John Travolta
“Regrets? I think everyone has regrets, and people who say they haven’t are either liars… or narcissists.”
Lee Radziwill
Questions
- Do you ever regret dating someone/choosing a job or career?
- Do you often buy things and then think it was a mistake?
- Do you agree that we shouldn’t cry over spilt milk?
- If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be?
- What do you wish you had tried or done when you were younger?
- According to a palliative care nurse in Australia, people on their death beds typically wish they hadn’t worked so hard. Why do you think it is so?
- Another typical regret is “I wish that I had let myself be happier.”How do you understand this phrase?