It is generally believed, (запятая не нужна) that sport is one of the (здесь хочется добавить best) ways to reduce stress. But there is also an opposite opinion, that it can make the situation worse than it is.
In my opinion, playing sports really helps to reduce stress.
First of all, sport causes the release of endorphines, which are called » the hormones of happiness». They just make you feel happy.
The second argument is that playing sports make you forget about everything. It is like you turning off your brain and doing only physical activities.
And the last but not least, sport helps to maintain the strength of your spirit, fortitude and courage. Day by day you become stronger, forget about your problems or face them bravely with braveness and don’t cry anymore.
However, some people argue that sport can be the reason of for stress. For example, playing too much sport can (bring you lots of diseases) make you ill, which can bring you in a situation when you can not do sports any more prevent you from playing sports any more.
The other Another reason is that sports can annoy you and make you feel tired of it.
Nevertheless, I still believe that playing sports is the best way to reduce stress, because only sport can make you stronger without harming you. The only thing is not to overdo it.
Комментарии:
Эссе должно состоять из пяти параграфов,
- Первый – вступление. Здесь все правильно.
- Второй – точка зрения автора. Соответственно, лучше объединить текст, начиная с “In my opinion” и заканчивая “cry anymore” в один параграф.
- Третий – выражаем противоположную точку зрению. Объединяем с “however” до “tired of it” в один параграф.
- Четвертый параграф – опровергаем противоположную точку зрения. Правильно! Хотя, на мой взгляд, можно было бы развить аргументацию.
- Заключение – отсутствует. Необходимо кратко суммировать ранее сказанное.
Good luck!